PS3 review

2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil PS3 review – familiarity dims the magic of the cup

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at 04:57pm April 15 2014
FIFA WC 1

I seem to be starting most of my conversations with these five words lately, but here goes anyway: in a recent Reddit thread, Americans were asked what they like best about Europe. Some said the abundance of historical architecture. Some said the chips. And one said “The electric feeling in the streets of a country whose team is currently playing in the Euro or World Cup.”

Rambo: The Videogame PS3 review – First Blood, then tears, then a snapped disc

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at 12:37pm April 9 2014
Screen shot 2014-04-09 at 12_2

The concept of ‘so bad it’s funny’ is far from new. It can be applied to most of Creed’s music catalogue, Keanu Reeves’ flick The Lake House, and even cult ‘classic’ Ride To Hell: Retribution, which received the hallowed 1/10 in OPM #87. It was with such a hope in mind that I set about reviewing this licensed, brainless blast-’em-up.Having emerged at the end of the ordeal angry, scarred, and more than a little nauseous, I can’t even award it that questionable accolade.

The Walking Dead Season Two Episode One: All That Remains PS3 review

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at 11:49am January 15 2014
the walking dead season two

Just as the credits roll on Telltale’s characteristically brutal opening episode of a whole new season of episodic walker-bashing, art editor Milf walks into the room. “Have you… have you been crying?” He asks. There aren’t many games out there capable of orchestrating such a scenario.

One Piece Pirate Warriors 2 review – borked buccaneer is a bottle of glum

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at 01:00pm October 4 2013
One Piece Pirate Warriors 2

Curse you, repetitive strain injuries. My thumbs are shredded to absolute ribbons as a result of pressing triangle roughly 13,973 times during this scurvy third-person scrapper. Despite spectacular moves, stretchy-limbed seamen and alluring eye candy, limited combos and endless, identical cycles of attritional war turn this colourful fighter into a bit of a shipwreck.

Saints Row 4 PS3 review – Uneven open-world is a clear and President danger to itself

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at 02:00pm August 14 2013
saints row 4 screens

Clearly, the 3rd Streets Saints have never had a scan of the Declaration of Independence. You can forget about all men being created equal the first time you zip up the side of a Steelport skyscraper or bound 30 metres into the air with your superpowered President. Volition’s madcap sandbox has donned some fetching tights and emblazoned a big, fat S over its chest as it looks to soar over its predecessors while zapping Infamous with a freeze ray and punching it into the stratosphere.

Call Of Juarez: Gunslinger PS3 review – Six-shooting at the okay corral

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at 05:15pm May 20 2013
call of juarez gunslinger

You could be forgiven for giving this return to the Wild West a wide berth in the wake of 2011’s downright dreadful The Cartel. But while nobody could accuse this £11.99 PSN offering of being smart or original, like a fancy-dress night out in an animal onesie it still provides plenty of act-first-think-later thrills.

Resident Evil Revelations PS3 review – You ooze you lose in this ship-shape survival horror

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at 10:50am May 20 2013
Resident Evil Revelations

Ask yourself this: are you afraid of jelly? Not even the ones with the little chunks of fruit? Then it’s unlikely you’ll unburden your pantaloons while fighting the stowaway Bio Organic Weapons aboard the Queen Zenobia. Benign blobs with the occasional protruding claw, the Ooze won’t follow Nemesis or Dr ‘Chainsaw Death’ Salvador into any game baddies hall of fame. A pity, because poor enemies aside this is the purest expression of survival horror Capcom has put out in years.

Metro: Last Light PS3 review – Silent Hill meets Fallout via The Road

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at 05:00pm May 13 2013
metro_8

It was the ghost of the hanged man that made me realise Metro: Last Light was trying its damnedest to screw with me. Not scare me, or make me jump, but to get in my head and do unpleasant things. I’d noticed a puddle of dried blood in a grimy underground shelter and didn’t think too much of it until I turned away. For a second I thought I saw a figure dangling from a ceiling pipe. I snapped back. Nothing.

Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon PS3 review – Not quite as acceptable as it was in the ’80s

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at 05:00pm April 30 2013
Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon ps3 review

Failing to fall in love with this old-school slice of (intentionally) nonsense standalone DLC probably gets you lumped in with people who can’t see the point in Instagram, or pine for the days when moustaches weren’t ironic. Blood Dragon has been designed to appeal to gaming hipsters to such an extent you can easily imagine that one step in the development process was to go through a checklist of popular internet memes one by one.

Defiance PS3 review – All talk and no walk for ambitious TV tie-in

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at 12:29pm April 29 2013
defiance ps3 review

Not a game, a ‘trans-media experience’. It’s one of those hoity-toity phrases that sounds all big and clever when rubbed up against other bits of flowery PR rhetoric, but in practice forcing a sci-fi television series and an MMO shooter into bed together and asking them to form a complex relationship after the initial under-the-duvet fumble is no easy task.

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