Frobisher Says PS Vita review
I’ve met snooze buttons less addictive than the ‘Again! Again!’ that pops up at the end of a session with this free Vita app. Frobisher Says is, in essence, Warioware on acid, offering up more than 50 whimsically presented, gleefully nonsensical micro-games.
The selection ranges from the straightforward (prising open a trio of clams, only for Frobisher to sadly declare, “I don’t even like clams”) to the downright odd (squashing toffs, presumably just because you don’t like the cut of their jib).
Best are the rounds that take advantage of Vita’s unique control systems. There’s a constellation-spotting task that sees you whirling around with the accelerometer, plus a voice-recognition one in which Frobisher makes you say his name in a variety of accents, the egocentric so-and-so.
Even more impressive are the camera-based games. Snap a picture of a certain-coloured object. Make a man dance by winking alternate eyes as quickly as possible, looking quite the prize idiot in the process. Smile at the bikini-clad ladies, but frown at the badgers that try to imitate them – Take Me Out meets the Really Wild Show.
Play is split into two modes: fixed-length games in which you rack up points by finishing tasks quickly, and sudden death games that depend solely upon your successful and timely completion of each round. More micro-games also unlock as you reach certain milestones – 300 games, for instance, or particular dates.
As a means of getting both your head and hands around Vita and its multitude of interfaces, there’s nothing better. Forget the pre-loaded Welcome Park – within a few minutes of loading Frobisher Says, you feel at home stabbing, smudging and shaking away at the handheld.
You’ll quickly lose any initial preciousness about your Vita as you fling it about with gay abandon – more than anything, though, this is pure and simple fun to its core. Oh, and did we mention that it’s free? Yes: FREE. Frobisher wants to know what on Earth you’ve got to lose.