You can count the new content of this neatly packed MK trilogy on one hand of a Simpsons character, but that isn’t really the point. You didn’t come for the Photoshopped visual effects or the widescreen stretch mode. No, you’re here to relive the nostalgia of so many misspent Saturday mornings cursing Shao Kahn’s name and chomping through controller cables in a tantrum. In a good way.
What’s the most important thing to remember before launching a devastating surprise attack? Anyone who said careful planning can leave the room now. The correct answer is, obviously, cool uniforms. Black preferably, and with lots of skull badges and eagle insignia to really scare the crap out of the locals when you abseil from the dropships. Of course, bad guys always have impeccable dress sense – presumably because quality tailoring is the mark of true evil. We’re talking murdering Teutonic Knights, the massed ranks of the Wehrmacht saluting in unison and Vader leading the Imperial assault on Hoth. Essentially, what you want is an outfit that says, ‘we’re going to crush you, but in style’. And in this respect the Helghast don’t disappoint.
Young children and hi-tech gadgets are never a good combination, but this is ridiculous. No sooner has a fancy new tablet been thrust into the hands of titular eight-year-old Amy than a train crashes, a ticket inspector knocks you out, and the whole world turns into flesh-eating zombies. And you thought it was bad when they drew on the walls or punched you in the gentleman’s area at the supermarket.
It’s been years since I ventured into Oddworld. There are fuzzy memories of chanting and distracting the Slogs of Sligs – or was it the Sligs of Slogs? – but they’ve long been shelved under ‘PlayStation nostalgia’. Stranger’s Wrath, the fourth game in the series, is an Xbox exclusive from 2005 – which means it’s only taken a mere seven years for it to cross into the light.
I love Steven Spielberg’s dino blockbuster like alcoholics love Irishing up their Monday morning frappuccinos. Seeing as it’s my favourite film ever, I naturally feel as protective of the IP as a feral grizzly guarding his ‘pic-a-nic’ basket.
So no pressure on Telltale’s QTE-heavy adventure, then. Sadly, this shambolic, barely interactive experience dumps a tonne of Triceratops dung on my beloved celluloid childhood memories.
It’s Pyre Night (Sucker Punch’s version of Halloween) in New Marais, the streets are full of revellers doing their best skeleton impressions and the Twilight express has rolled into town. Fortunately, instead of being loaded up with brooding teenagers obsessed with ‘feelings’, it brings a new threat to the city: vampires.
Ever seen one of those nature documentaries that’s essentially a series of rodents being torn to meaty pieces by predators? Swarm is the videogame equivalent, played like a race against your own mortality.
The Burnout series has a lot of goodwill behind it, all of it merited. Paradise was brilliant, and made even more so thanks to the oodles of free DLC given away by Criterion. And although this digital effort is no replacement for a fully fledged title, its smash-happy take on the Highway Code does the franchise no harm.
Kratos’ handheld adventures remain two of the best games on PSP, but now the angry god-slayer’s backstory has found its way out of your lint-filled pocket and on to the big screen in this PS3-ified God Of War Collection Volume II. Following in the footsteps of the first collection, this disc packs in two games, both given an HD (and, for the first time, 3D) overhaul. And although the two titles fare differently in the cold light of high-definition, this is a must-play package for any GOW fans who missed them in portable form.
For all Street Fighter IV’s brilliance, playing 3rd Strike over a decade after its release hammers home how conservative Capcom’s more recent brawler was. This emphasises precise execution over appealing to all comers, and is a forbidding game for new players – not least because only a handful of the roster (Ken, Ryu, Chun-Li) is familiar. The remainder are a wonderful bunch of freaks and misfits, from the Hulk Hogan/Andre The Giant pairing of Alex and Hugo, to oddities such as Twelve (a cross between Dhalsim and the T-1000).
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