If you’re here looking for jokes about Mr Woods’ various indiscretions, you’ve come to the wrong place. It’s been a long time and I’m better than that (maybe). I’d never cheat you readers out of a professional assessment, spraying cheap jibes about like a busted fire hydrant, and I intend to divorce myself from any such proceedings.
Howdy there, partners. Do we have some videos for you this week. A whole five, in fact. They include LittleBigPlanet’s announcement trailer, physics-borked Battlefield 3 multiplayer glitches and a brief Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City trophy guide.
Here’s associate editor online Leon Hurley (me!) and acting news ed Dave Meikleham to talk through his thoughts on his Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City review. There’s plenty of gameplay footage, plus we discuss its place in the series’ canon and wether it stands up as a true Resi game. We’ve also got a full Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City PS3 review here as well.
It really takes some doing to make a game where you’re a flying 25-foot-tall robot with rockets for feet and mini-guns for arms dull like sipping asparagus soup. So congrats to From Software, because it’s churned out yet another snorefest of a mech-murdering sim with all the sleep-inducing properties of a premium horse tranquiliser. I don’t know how it does it.
No one likes waiting. Whether it’s twiddling your thumbs for two decades over a new spectacularly borked Blue Brothers flick or biding your time for five years to discover Lost’s mysteries revolve around a fountain of magic piss. In Resident Evil’s case, we’ve been hanging about since 1996 for an entry in the survival horror series that would let us move and shoot. Well, wait over.
Never meet your heroes. That’s the old adage, anyway, and it’s never been truer than in NG3. Team Ninja is working the ‘unmasking’ angle really hard in this hack ’n’ slash, and after spending so many exhilarated, frustrated and finally illuminated hours with Mr Ryu Hayabusa in the supremely challenging Ninja Gaiden games up to this point, it’ll be like glass in your eyes to find that he not only…
At first I was afraid. I was petrified. Then I realised that sadly most of the fear came from the deep-seated dread built up during the glory days of Silent Hill. This doesn’t mean that escaped prisoner Murphy Pendleton’s jaunt into the mist is entirely without merit, but Downpour is a flawed and disappointing experience. New developer for the series, Vatra, is clearly passionate about Silent Hill, which is both…
There’s a strong argument to be made that this rebooted round of urban footy is actually more fun than its big-brother effort, FIFA 12. Consider the things that wind you up most about the latter: fiddly tactics menus. Interminable loading times. The inability of your back four to act as if they’ve ever met one another before. Headbutting stuff yet? Then rest assured that Street contains precisely none of the above.
The story in Blades Of Time makes so little sense that it might as well be represented by a badger in a top hat playing the Rugrats music on a kazoo. In fact, it’s such gibberish that the game doesn’t even try to explain itself properly. It is also, to look at and listen to, utterly rubbish. The graphics are awful, it glitches constantly, and you’ll find yourself stuck in…
Zombies should make anything their cold, undead fingers touch substantially more ace – in theory, anyway. Apocalypses, houses of the dead and, most importantly, strippers have all been improved by embracing the cerebral cortex-chewing side of life.
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