7 ways to make an Assassin’s Creed movie not suck – a lesson for videogame films everywhere


Hire a decent casting director

So it turns out that shaving Timothy Olyphant’s head doesn’t make him Hitman and Mark Wahlberg is NOT Max Payne (made perfectly clear when he publicly stated he hadn’t played the games and felt the script “connected him to the story enough’ *insert face palm here*). Cast the Oscar winning Angelina Jolie however and you’ve got a sequel on your sweating palms, even if Lara Croft: Tomb Raider was a total lemon. Listed on IMDB as Altair, Fassbender should bring some much needed personality to the grouchy Middle Eastern Assassin but it’s Desmond, a main character apparently universally disliked, who needs to hold this all together. If there are sequels, and Ubi surely hope they’ll get a chance to introduce Ezio, then Desmond needs to be something special. Unless Ubi are going meta on us and having Fassbender play them both….