Ten PlayStation noises every gamer should recognise

PS noises

They say scent is the most evocative of all the senses – new manual smell, fetid arcade, orange juice spilled on your housemate’s PSOne. But for gamers, hearing distinctive sounds is the most effective trigger of memory. And since we can’t smell games yet – although Peter Molyneux is probably working on it – we’ve knocked up an aural quiz for your enjoyment: a plate of delicious ear-biscuits, if you will.

Here are ten sounds from the bygone days of Playstation that anyone who calls themselves a gamer should recognise. Get more than three wrong and we’ll need to take your Assassin’s Creed hoody, sync cables and platinum trophies, soldier. If you get stuck (and are therefore rubbish) select the black box to reveal the answer.

Silent Hill 2 – item pickup
Congratulations: you just picked up an item in sack-faced nightmare-’em-up Silent Hill 2. Boo-doop. Probably didn’t even need the sound clip. For a game that’s full of radio crackle, breathy screams and the squeak of mannequins being ‘hugged’ by Pyramid Head, the sound of picking up an item is unusually cheery. But listen carefully and there’s a slight undertone of menace. Like it’s saying, ‘yes, you have collected the bullets. But you’re going to need them to fight the monstrous otherworldy representation of your pent up sexual desires. Good luck!’

Tekken 3 – Paul’s throw reversal
What’s that? It’s either a used party popper being trodden on, or it’s the sound of your ankle being dislocated by Paul Pheonix from Tekken. The sound of your lovingly-worked combo being stopped mid-flow by someone just pushing back and throw. The sound of bring stamped into the mire by a flaccid Guile rip-off sporting 80s leathers and a laughable hair don’t. Unless, like me, you play as Paul: in which case it’s the sound of WIN.

Max Payne 2 – munching painkillers
It’s good ol’ Max Payne, easing the bullet wounds and broken heart by chomping down on  some delicious painkillers. Cheery! If you got this right, award yourself a shot of cheap bourbon and a pizza eaten off a greasy motel bed. If you got it wrong, prepare to lose everyone you ever loved, before spending every night dreaming about screaming babies and endless umbilical-cord mazes. You should probably mad-shave your hair now – it’ll save you time in the long run.

Arkham Asylum – Batman’s grapple gun
No, that’s not the sound of Batman running away. Batman doesn’t run away. He uses the grapnel to relocate for a tactical reappraisal. To become a ghost; a wraith, waiting in the shadows, spreading fear and confusion. A predator, ready to pounce from above and neutralise his prey. And maybe to get away really quickly when some Arkham Asylum fruitloop is kicking him in the cowl. ‘Not in the face! I’m holding a vol-au-vent night party at Wayne Manor tomorrow! Hold me, Alfred.’

Red Dead Redemption – Skinning a bear
Easy one, this: it’s John Marston slicing himself a new rug from a freshly murdered grizzly bear. But if you just said ‘skinning’, you can still have a point. We were going to have John’s manly whistle, but it was unrecognisable when it wasn’t followed by followed by the sound of us shouting, ‘Dobbin, get back here! No! You’ve gone past me you cloppy tw*t! I am slain!’

It gets harder on page two….