Why Blades Of Time is the best worst game ever


Like a lot of people I don’t feel like I get enough time to game for pleasure – hence why I’m still mining the planets of Mass Effect 2 while the rest of the galaxy is whinging about how the series has finished. So when I do fire up the PS3 at home I try to make sure I play only the best things I can; there simply isn’t time to waste on anything that’s less than brilliant.

I think that’s why I occasionally get hooked when playing overtly shonky games for review. It happened with Supremacy MMA – me and another writer would literally stay after work to go head to head at a game that ended up with a Metacritic of 47. The same thing happened with The Cursed Crusade: ugly and badly made like a porridge sandwich, but with an enjoyable two-handed weapon system and a story which – if you could set your cynicism aside – managed to be just the right kind of schlocky.

And there’s a new game that’s managed to get its tendrils of rubbishness hooked into me. Check out my Blades Of Time PS3 review, in which you’ll see just how and why this new action game is, by so many objective criteria, a steaming mound of dung. But amid all the choppy graphics, scenery clipping, terrible voiceovers, uninspiring design, fugly enemies…wait, what was my point?

Oh yeah: there is one beacon of light which somehow redeems all of this. And that is the combat. Initially it feels a little too slick: blows don’t connect with real impact and everything’s…’slidey’, for want of a better non-word. As lead character Ayumi leaps and swirls around you feel like you’re barely connected to her actions, just mashing buttons until enemies disappear.

The magic system goes some way to solving this: spells and heavy attacks actually do have heft to them, making fights far more satisfying. But it’s the time rewind mechanic that takes things to a whole new – and extremely bizarre – level.