PlayStation’s manliest fistfights

The Last Of Us

Granted, we’ve not played Naughty Dog’s fascinating story of apocalyptic survival and beardy man/teen girl bonding yet. But judging by the screens and the developer’s comments on The Last Of Us’ main character Joel and his murderous melee combat, uber mano-a-mano punching looks set to play a prominent part.

 

Fight Night Champion

There’s no sort of boxing like bare knuckle boxing. A fact proven by Fight Night Champion’s ultra genero André Bishop after he starts indulging in some bone-breaking brawls after being shunted into the slammer. Thought the biggest problem in the prison showers would arise over dropping a bar of soap? Poor Bishop has to fend off three brutal thugs in one mission who want to smash up his fighting fists. Proof, if ever it was needed, that cons have zero respect for personal grooming.

 

Metal Gear Solid

Another Metal Gear Solid and yet another absurdly hard fistfight. This time, a much younger Solid Snake dukes it out with his former best mate/turned near unkillable ninja badass Gray Fox. Though the former comes equipped with portable missiles, rocket launchers and enough ammo to rearm six Gulf Wars, and the latter can move at the speed of sound and mince anything to pieces with his katana, the two decide to ditch their weapons and let their fists do the talking… and Kojima’s thirty minute cutscenes.

The ensuing flurry of stealth vs cyborg fists is so unrelenting in its manliness, it makes a bespectacled onlooker soil his man of science pantaloons.

 

Mirror’s Edge

Perhaps the manliest scrap on the list and it features two keester-kiboshing women. Punches are thrown, kung-fu kicks are dealt out freely and backstabbing friendships are brought to the parkour-centric fore.

Thanks to the elegant combat of Mirror’s Edge, which combined satisfying counters and an uncluttered control scheme, this is perhaps the slickest bout of knuckle violence on PS3. Any chance of a sequel, EA? We promise we’ll pretend to care about the 74 edition of the Sims in the last four years if you give us another sample of Faith.

 

Spider-Man 3

What, you don’t think Toby Maguire’s horrendously droll, monotone and botched take on Spidey is manly. Pah. Well, how about fighting his friend above Manhattan’s skyline on a hoverboard in a dull QTE sequence. Look, it was still the best part of Spider-Man 3 (game or film) and there is some ‘super’ punching in there, so it’s made the cut. Now, who’s for some embarrassing emo strutting and a shunted Venom storyline?