PlayStation’s meanest mothers
What would we do without our dear old mums, eh? Well, for one thing, we’d have probably suffocated under giant piles of soiled laundry in our formative years. It’s a pity PlayStation mammas ain’t quite so dutiful. Far from making sure their offspring have got their packed lunches when they head out of the door, most are more concerned with killing their kids or performing satanic rituals. Although, granted, one of the virtual mums found here gave birth in the middle of a war-ravaged battlefield. We’ll concede that probably deserves a hastily bought pack of choccies on Mother’s Day.
(Metal Gear Solid 3)
Pregnancy must be a real bitch, even drugged-up in a clean hospital ward. So imagine replacing said ward with a WW2 battlefield… then performing a C-section on yourself with a combat knife. That’s exactly what Naked Snake’s mentor endured when giving birth to Ocelot. If you’ll excuse us, we’re off for a massive faint.
(Red Dead Redemption)
Tough as a pair of boots made from deep-fried rattlesnake, Mrs John Marston is nearly as intimidating as her homicidal hubby. After she and son Jack are kidnapped by government agents, she not only cares for her kid, but also fights off a frisky attack from a captor.
Teen mums have it tough. Giving up nights on the tiles to change nappies. Being impregnated during sinister psychic programs. Actually, maybe that last one’s just Alma. Prior to becoming The Demon Child From Hell™, she gave birth twice before she was 17. One kid’s an ice-cold military killer, the other’s a cannibal. Ever thought of adoption?
We’ll say one thing for nefarious paranormal pregnancies; they age you horribly if Dahlia is anything to go by. Despite being only 46, giving birth to Alessa has clearly taken its toll – she looks ready for her free bus pass. Forcibly impregnating her teen daughter via a burny demonic ritual? Caring mum.
(Dead Space 2)
These big-boned undead beasties are kinda like piñatas, in that cracking their bellies open reveals a surprise. Admittedly, they’re less similar to happy Mexican party pieces when that surprise comes in the form of hordes of insect-like aliens. Isaac can prevent these rotund Necromorphs from hosting really evil baby showers by shooting their legs off.
They say a mother’s love knows no bounds… which probably doesn’t apply in this assassin’s case, seeing as Ms Williams was contracted to off her son in Tekken 4. In fairness, she didn’t know that Steve Fox was her child when she agreed to the hit. Probably because she gave birth to the Brit boxer when she was out for the count in cryosleep. No, really.